Is it okay to shop together?

June 4, 2020

Believe it or not, most couples do…


No, romance is NOT dead, but times have changed, and in many households women have become equal part decision-makers. While surprise proposals are certainly romantic, an engagement ring is no small purchase, nor unimportant, so more often than not we are seeing couples take pleasure in the journey of choosing it together – and it’s a lot of fun!

We’ve tackled a few frequent concerns about shopping together.

Is it for us?

Well, know yourself, and know your girl. Is she especially “A type”? When you book a holiday, does she leave it to you, or like to choose the hotel and flight options with you? How particular is she about your apartment? The furnishings, the details, how the bed is made? If your lady tends to be very particular, there is a good chance this will extend to her ring. Don’t be deterred by this! When the ring is completed – and when and how you propose – is ALWAYS a surprise! It is just sometimes best if the look of the ring is not!

There will be plenty of surprise jewelry that you have your whole future to spring on her, so don’t worry, and the process of shopping together can be a lot of fun. AND, if you let her have fun, take your time together, pay attention, and make an event of it, we promise, it’s its own form of romance!

David and Jessica the moment they met their perfect stone!

But I don’t want to discuss the budget in front of her…

You got it! Let us know that and we won’t. We are very much on your side. Our goal is to make sure she is in love with her ring and super happy, and that you are comfortable with, and confident in, your investment – so we don’t need to talk shop or disclose any prices in front of her if you wish for us not to.

It’s important that you have an idea of what you would like to invest, however, as that will help us navigate your options with you. You may wish to privately disclose where you would ideally like to be price-wise, and this will help us show your partner products inline with that, without discussing anything in front of her. Every part of the process can be done including her, without talking numbers, and we can save that part for behind the scenes.

But I still want there to be some mystery.

Don’t worry, there can be! Shopping together can range from simply the first visit – where we get an idea of stone shapes, metal preferences, and settings styles that she likes – to actively working on every design element together. How much you decide to do together, is entirely up to you. We also make detailed notes while working with you, and are well-experienced observers of subtle reactions, gaging what lights her up and what doesn’t. All these details will be noted in your profile, so if you then decide to proceed without her, we have a solid foundation to work from.

Three Cushion Cut Diamonds of various spec and price-point – all are stunning!

The next step, when you are getting closer to wanting to buy, is a loose stone appointment. This is the exciting part of custom design, where we bring you an array of loose stones that fit within your ideal specs and ideal price point, leveraging specifics like color and clarity to take you up and down in carat weight.

Here we take the time to build your eye and build your confidence with what you are seeing to help you choose the perfect stone for you. Sometimes this will be where your partner will duck out, and leave the choice up to you, but a lot of couples also like to do this stage together, as the stones are so beautiful, and it’s a really special and enchanting feeling to have handpicked your own diamond. For us, this is possibly the most romantic part of the process, and as the different characteristics between stones can be more or less noticeable to different people, you might be glad of her involvement. Again, we don’t need to disclose prices here, we can just do a blind viewing and see what she responds to, perhaps even leaving it down to her top two for you to choose later yourself.

I really had my heart set on a surprise proposal, but I’m scared she won’t like it.

Okay, we have a solution. One of the many attributes that make us stand out is our gorgeous boutique, right on the cusp of where the West Village meets the Meatpacking District, on Hudson and Horatio. Open seven days a week, we have a full collection of all our designs and every different stone shape in a variety of sizes for you to explore and try on. We are not a museum however, every piece that we showcase is available for purchase should something capture your heart! If you have your heart set on a surprise proposal, we can help you. If you purchase any existing ring from our collection and pay in full, we will hold open the time frame for you to propose with that ring, and if she does not fall head over heels in love with it, we will take it back in and redesign one that she does, with you both together.


Our clients, the gorgeous Maggie and Connor, sharing that moment they will never forget!

We are invested in your love story and ‘that moment’ that many women spend their lives dreaming of! It is so important to us that we get it right, and that is why we go above and beyond to make sure you do too!

Call us or email us with any questions, and here are a few more articles that make help you plan the perfect surprise!

How to find your partner’s Ring Size without them knowing

How to choose the ring for a surprise proposal?

How much should you spend on an Engagement Ring?

What is the average sized stone in an Engagement Ring?

Be the first to know
Become a Marisa Perry Insider by signing up for our email newsletter.